Annie Rousseau

Long before I had ever heard about The Painting Experience I had an intuitive sense of its power. I had been in bed for weeks unable to do anything because of a severe depression. As I was starting to recover and could begin to function again I had this strong urge to get up and paint. In my mind’s eye I saw flowers in bright primary colours, very vivid and bold. I had always wanted to paint, but doubted my ability and was afraid to begin in case I discovered that I wasn’t “a painter”. So here I was, in a very vulnerable state with nothing to stop me from just beginning. I had no responsibilities, as they had all dropped away during my time of incapacity, and no one was around to distract me. I couldn’t wait to begin. The colours were beckoning. I found some paints belonging to my children and some paper and simply began.

I loved my first attempts; the colours were so seductive. But as I struggled to make things look like the flowers I imagined, I started to regret my lack of talent and ability. Then I intuitively abandoned the search for realism and just painted what I felt. These were very different paintings, not brightly coloured, and with no particular recognizable objects or shapes – but they were powerful - very deep and moody. And I felt very connected to them. I was alone at the time so I put them up on my walls where I could feel and appreciate my very personal expression.

Some time later, a friend came by. She saw my paintings and offered to interpret them for me. I politely refused. It felt empowering and right to protect the mystery of my work in its rawness and innocence. I realized that what I had been doing intuitively was
right, and that it was healing me, but somehow I couldn't continue. I started to paint again in a more conventional way, and my painting lost its depth. Not knowing how to sustain this connection with myself, and because I was recovering my interest in the outside world and returning to my family life, I lost interest in painting altogether.

Many years later I was given a Painting Experience workshop as a gift. The workshop was to take place six months later. Synchronicity would have it that I gave up my fulltime job the month before I would attend this workshop. The timing was perfect. I had left my work because intuitively I knew I had to. I knew somewhere in myself that a change was afoot but I didn’t know what was next for me. That summer I faced a blank sheet of paper in sheer bliss. I met myself there and then for the first time in wholeness, feeling the most authentic I had ever felt. I was in awe of how little I knew about myself, or about life. I was excited and curious. I felt playful and light.

I also knew then that someday I would facilitate this process. My progress slowed after that first amazing opening but I kept coming back to The Painting Experience whenever I could and eventually made the commitment to enter into a mentorship with Stewart and become a teacher. This path has been blessed with so much love and support from everyone in my life, and it feeds me like nothing else I have ever done. It's a consistent longing, a hunger for expression that's this honest, this direct and this beautiful. It's a joy to now be able to share this work with others.

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Annie has several small studio locations in central Vancouver Island, B.C. and travels to teach workshops on her own and to work with Stewart at The Painting Experience.